THOSE DARN SNAKES…

EPISODE ONE:  This happened several years ago, not too long after we built our house. There were two electric boxes high on the living room  wall for lights to go over the bar.  I never could decide on the lights I wanted, so they were empty. I should also mention that I live in a house framed in cedar, knot holes and all. Mike and our friend, Rusty were in the backyard doing some kind of mechanic work. I came in the backdoor to the living room from outside, and saw something dark near the top of the door. I looked over….jumped a foot…and screeched all at once.  There was a black snake trying to crawl from a saw that hangs above the bar, to the top of the door. I screeched, “Mike!  There’s a snake in the house!”  He says, “What?”  I repeat my statement at a higher level of concern. He comes in and picks the snake up and deposits it somewhere outside. (My hero!)  It had crawled up the side of the house and through a knothole to the attic, down from there somehow into one of those electric boxes, and into the house! I decided THAT DAY on the lights I wanted.  (My only requirement was that they be snake-proof.)

THE GAY CAMPING CURSE….

We started thinking there might be a curse that is brought on by too many Gay (family name) campers in one location, when as adults, Mike and his sister Becky  started camping together. It always comes a torrential downpour or tornadic weather or cold shap when we camp together.  On this occasion, we had driven up to Mountain View in hopes of camping there, but the sites were all full and we decided to go to Heber to Tumbling sholes.  On the way back through Mountain View, we passed a vehicle heading the other way and Mike said, “That looked like Becky!”  We decided that was unlikely and went on to Heber, got a campsite and started setting up camp.  A few minutes later, Becky shows up and has rented the site next to us.  It WAS her in Mountain View! We decided this was lucky and proceeded to enjoy our camping trip. ( We are both tent campers.) Let me back up a little and say that before we left our house, Mike got mad that I had taken up all of the room in the back of the Jeep Wagoneer and I got mad that he was mad and I removed some stuff. (blankets to be exact).  That night it was SOOO cold.  We put the kids in the back of the Jeep where they were nice and toasty.  Me and Mike slept in out clothes, our coats, and the sleeping bag.  And by slept, I mean we were awake all night freezing.  About an hour before dawn, we got up and got in the Jeep and turned on the heater and had just dozed off when Zach (who was about 5) sat up and said, “I’m gonna puke”, and did so immediately.  Autumn wakes up and starts gagging, Mike starts cursing and throwing  a little Gay fit, and I just try not to laugh while I am crying.  LOL  I put the only clean clothes I have for Zach on him. We get up and start breakfast and all that good camping stuff, when Zach comes and tells me he has had a diarrhea attack in his clothes of course, all the way to his shoes.  I have nothing to put on him. It’s all either pukey or fouled by you know what. I clean him and put him in a blanket. WE start packing up and Becky is not having a great trip either.  They were cold all night and had a hard time putting their tent up the night before.  She said she was leaving the dang tent there and heading to the house. and she did!  We couldn’t just leave a perfectly good tent there, so we took it to our house and returned it to her later so that she could experience at least three or four more extremely WET camping trips with us.  LOL You’re welcome Becky!

Falling….

Bubba, our recently deceased dog, used to love to follow behind a person really closely.  He was all set to follow me off the porch. My son, Zach was coming towards the house from his car. I was saying something to Zach as I stepped down with my left foot.  At the exact same time, Bubba stepped on the back of my heel and flip flop, trapping my foot in the flip flop. He didn’t move. I did.  My other foot barely grazed the top step as I supermanned out onto our rock patio, doing a full on belly buster. Ouch!  I started crying and laughing at the same time.  It’s a wonder that I didn’t burst like a watermelon!  LOL  Bubba just stood on the step looking at me as if to say, “What are you doing?”  The look on Zach’s face was priceless. He was all concern, (unlike my daughter, who laughs first then checks on me. Lol  Another story for another time.) until he realized that I was fine.  Then we both started laughing.  I was thinking of another time he saw me do something similar, but that’s another story….