Monthly Archives: June 2016

THE DAY I WAS ASHAMED TO BE A RAZORBACK……

EPISODE 644:

When my kids were pretty small, Autumn was 5, Zach was 3, we went on vacation to St. Louis.  One of the attractions there is the arch, and of course we took the kids.  I should say that Zach was barely potty trained, and was all decked out in a razorback outfit that was red of course and had Arkansas written all over it.   Really cute.  We went to the arch and up in it. Looked around and then got ready to go into the elevators.  Now to do this you stand in a line kindof on stairs and wait for the elevators to open.  Zach had already told me that he needed to use the bathroom, and when we get in line with several people below us, he starts trying to pull his pants down and announces loudly that  he is going to pee on those people! LOL( Did I mention that he had on an Arkansas Razorback shirt? ) I stifle his urge to pee on everyone,  and we get downstairs to the bathroom in time.  We look around in the museum downstairs and then we go outside and are walking around the arch when Zach cranes his head up and says with wonder in his voice as he is trying to pull his pants down again, “I need to pee on that!”  Me and Mike’s Aunt Julie just keep walking as we are laughing and telling Mike to get his son.  Mike had to let him pee behind a bush.  You shouldn’t advertise where you are from when your kids are with you. LOL

Advertisements

WHY I DON’T CRITIQUE ANYONE’S SIGNIFICANT OTHER….

Episode 452: A number of years ago, a relative (who shall remain nameless) came by our house one night and told us he had taken his live-in girlfriend elsewhere, and that their relationship was over.  We jumped on the band wagon, and told him he was better off, she was just using him, she didn’t love him, yada yada….He was in total agreement, and we all spent some time dogging her.  He left our house pretty late, and came back over the next morning only to tell us that he had moved her back in!  Mike just looked at him and said, “Well, like I was saying last night, ‘she’s great, you’re lucky to have her'”.  LOL We all died laughing.

MY AUNT BILL……

She was named Lillian, but everyone called her Bill. My mom said she got her nickname when she was a young girl working in the cotton fields.  Her  family dressed her like a man and called her Bill to protect her from the men in the cotton fields.  Apparently, they never caught on or if they did, they kept her secret.  She even learned to pee standing up. I never saw this wonder, but my older brother swears she could.  Anyway, the nickname stuck for life.  She was the funniest lady and so matter of fact and blunt.  She dipped snuff most of her life, and in later years, after scolding her children for smoking and having it pointed out that she had a habit that she couldn’t break, she showed them all by quitting! (I think she must have been in her seventies.) We spent our summer vacation at her home in south Georgia. I have shelled many a pea, and shucked more corn at her house than you can possibly understand.  She was the first one to make chocolate syrup (not gravy that stuff is nasty) for me for breakfast.  The first to introduce me to tomato sandwiches, homemade creamed FIELD corn (not sweet corn), and boiled peanuts.  All wonderful memories. She was known to her kids and grandkids as “mubber”.  (We weren’t allowed to call her mubber.  Mom said that she was our mother.  An ego thing I suppose.) She was my Aunt Bill, definitely one of a kind,  and I miss her so much.